I watched the boys at our microschool on the swings, and wow—do they love those swings. They spend nearly an hour a day out there, just swinging. And since we put them up, I’ve noticed something amazing: they're calmer, more balanced, and have improved self-regulation throughout the day. It’s been a game-changer. Play-based learning moments like this show how powerful movement is in helping kids regulate their emotions and focus.
Later in the day, I sat down with a student (we'll call him Aaron) to work on writing a summary. Here’s the thing—Aaron wasn't up for writing today. At all. He was scribbling on the paper, playing with anything he could get his hands on, basically doing everything but the task in front of him. It was like trying to squeeze water from a rock just to get the first letter down.
Now, in this moment, I had two options: I could keep pushing, forcing him to sit there and write that summary, or I could recognize that today just wasn’t his day. His body and brain weren’t in sync. And let’s be real—forcing a kid to do something when they’re not ready? It’s a recipe for disaster.
Here’s the thing that’s crucial for every parent and educator to understand: you can’t make someone do something. Sure, you can try to bribe or pressure them into it (hello, traditional education!), but you can’t actually make them do it. And you know what? The kids who end up with me—kids who haven’t thrived in traditional settings—are often the ones who’ve already figured that out. They’ve called the adult’s bluff. They’ve said, “No... now what?” And when they do, the adults don’t know what to do, because all the control is gone.
The truth is, the moment you get into a power struggle with a child, you’ve already lost. So, I make it my mission to avoid those struggles wherever I can. And when I feel one coming on? I pivot fast.
Let’s go back to Aaron. I’m there, sitting next to him, saying, “Okay, let’s start with the letter ‘L’... Yep, writing the word ‘poop’ is hilarious—but that’s not going in our summary. Back to the ‘L’... oh wait, no, put down the Magnatiles... right, let’s focus on the ‘L.’”
Now, I could’ve gone the typical route: “Aaron, sit down and write this summary now.” But here’s the thing—what if he said, “No, I’m not going to”? Then what? I can’t physically force him to do it, and I don’t want to.
Or I could’ve tried the bribery route: “If you write this summary, I’ll give you candy.” Classic extrinsic motivation. Maybe that would’ve worked today. But what happens tomorrow? And let’s be honest—Aaron’s the type of kid who probably would’ve said no to candy too. Plus, what message does that send to the other kids? That refusing work means you get a treat? That’s not a lesson I’m interested in teaching.
So instead, I asked him, “It seems like your body is really busy right now. What do you think would help you settle down?” He couldn’t answer, and that’s okay. I could see he was just not in the right headspace for this. So, I thought on my feet and came up with a quick, hands-on activity. We did it together. He crushed it, and I sent him on his way feeling successful.
At Fáilte Waldorf Microschool, we take a different approach—one based on trust, connection, and respect, a holistic education. Sure, you can pressure or bribe them, but genuine engagement only comes when a child is intrinsically motivated. This is why personalized education matters.
When children feel heard and supported, they want to participate.
This is the power of social-emotional learning (SEL) and play-based learning—understanding a child’s needs and making adjustments that support their overall growth, not just their academic success. And here’s the thing: when you work with a child’s body and emotions, they want to come back to the task later because they feel capable and empowered.
Now imagine if all schooling worked like this. What if teachers were in tune with their students’ needs? What if we didn’t force compliance but instead understood when kids were struggling and adjusted the approach on the spot? What if we respected their boundaries and their rhythms?
What if every teacher had the flexibility to adjust lessons based on what the child needed in the moment? That’s what we strive for at Fáilte Waldorf Microschool—a microschool that focuses on personalized learning and whole-child development. It’s not always about what’s easiest for the adult; it’s about what helps the child thrive.
I get it—this kind of flexibility isn’t always possible in a traditional classroom, and not every kid needs this level of individualized attention every day. But what if even just a few kids got this kind of support? What a difference it could make.
The truth is, kids need more than rigid structure. They need teachers who see them, who listen, and who understand that learning isn’t a one-size-fits-all experience. And when we start to meet them where they are, instead of forcing them into a mold, that’s when the real magic happens.
OK Parents, How Can You Apply This at Home?
Here are three ways you can bring this approach into your parenting:
Tune Into What Your Child’s Telling You: Ok this is harder than it sounds. ESPECIALLY as the parent. I fail at this at least once a day with my own son. So cut yourself some slack. But when you ask your kiddo to do something and they don't, or your kid is misbehaving in a way they usually don't, before you fly off the handle, pause and look to see what is actually going on.
Are they physically needing something (hungry, thirsty, uncomfortable clothes, exhausted, hurt)
Emotionally struggling (worried, sad, angry, excited, overwhelmed)
Mentally distracted (fatigued from a day of school, overwhelmed by a lot of mental input, thinking about a lot of things)
Take all of this into account, and then see if you can help them with what is getting in the way BEFORE you react to their behavior.
Avoid Power Struggles: ALWAYS! Try as best you can to avoid power struggles! You are the adult. You make decisions. You don't need their permission to decide what you are making for dinner or if it is time to go for bed. If you are asking them a question, then be ready for whatever their answer is.
I never ask a question that I already know the answer to. Like "did you eat the cookies?" If the kid says no and I know they are lying, how is that helpful? I also never accuse, "YOU ate the cookies." I just restate the expectation and the consequence. "We were saving those cookies for the party and because they got eaten I now need to make more so I can't play with you like I had planned."
By applying these strategies and embracing a holistic approach at home, you’re setting your child up for success—not just in school, but in life. Flexibility and understanding can go a long way in fostering independence and harmony in the future.
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