Change is a constant in any learning environment, and at Fáilte Waldorf Microschool, we embrace it as an opportunity for growth. Whether it's a schedule adjustment, the addition of a new student, or the departure of another, we understand that these changes can be unsettling for children—especially those who have experienced trauma in previous schooling environments.
To support our students through these transitions, I implement a strategy of "tightening the reins" initially and gradually "loosening" them as the children adapt. This approach ensures that every child feels safe and supported, allowing them to thrive in our unique learning environment.
Understanding the Brain’s Response to Change
One of the key reasons behind this approach lies in understanding how our brains work. When children experience prolonged stress or trauma, their brains adapt to survive those environments. For example, a child who has endured a chaotic or unsafe school environment may have developed behaviors that helped them navigate that chaos. These behaviors, while maladaptive in a healthy environment, are hardwired as survival mechanisms.
When a child with such a background enters our school, their brain doesn’t immediately recognize the safety, respect, and love we offer. Instead, it reverts to the behaviors that previously ensured their survival—whether that means acting out, being overly vigilant, or withdrawing. This can be a frustrating and confusing time for both parents and educators, as the child's behavior may seem incongruent with the nurturing environment we provide.
A Real-Life Example: My Son’s Journey
My own experience with my son illustrates this concept well. When he was in a small private Quaker school, he was bullied, and the school failed to address the issue. During that time, he developed coping mechanisms like fidgeting, not paying attention, and being goofy—behaviors that were his way of surviving an unsafe environment.
When I eventually pulled him out of that school and began homeschooling him, his behaviors didn’t change overnight, even though he was now in a safe and supportive environment. It took months of consistent care and stability for him to begin to let go of those survival behaviors and start to feel truly safe.
Applying This to Fáilte
When changes occur at our microschool, I step in as a stabilizing force. I provide more structure, become more involved in daily activities, and ensure that every student feels my unwavering support and love. This helps to calm their brains and gives them the security they need to adapt to the change without reverting to old, survival-based behaviors.
Over time, as I see the children start to have more positive interactions and regain their sense of safety, I gradually step back. This gradual "loosening of the reins" allows them to build new neural pathways for handling change, reinforcing positive behaviors, and fostering resilience.
Every time we go through this process, the children grow a little stronger, a little more confident, and a little more capable of handling life's inevitable changes.
Ways to "tighten the reigns" as Parents and Caregivers
If you’re a parent or caregiver, here are some concrete actions you can take to help children navigate change more smoothly:
Structured Choices: Instead of allowing chunks of unstructured free time that can lead to disagreements or feelings of overwhelm, offer 1-2 high-interest, cooperative activities for children to choose from. If that feels like too much, provide just one activity and allow those who don’t want to participate to play independently.
Close Monitoring: When children are playing well together, stay physically close, listen to their conversations, and monitor the play. Step in when you hear tension rise, notice a child struggling, or see defense mechanisms coming into play.
Encourage Cooperation: If a new child is struggling to integrate into the group or if the group as a whole is having difficulty coming together, initiate a cooperative board game or go on a walks. Even if the children initially resist, these activities work every time to help build connection and ease tensions.
Avoid Competition: In these situations, remove competitive games from the mix and maintain close proximity to support positive interactions. This helps reduce stress and encourages collaboration rather than competition. This includes competitive board games, sports, or even imaginative games they come up with.
Building Resilience Through Consistency
The key takeaway for parents and educators is this: Consistency and stability are crucial when helping children navigate change, especially those who have experienced trauma. By being present, providing structure, and offering unconditional support, we can help children develop new, healthier ways of responding to the world around them.
At Fáilte Waldorf Microschool, we are committed to being that stabilizing force for our students, guiding them through every transition with care and compassion, and helping them build the resilience they need to thrive.
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